For you, Golden Friends.
以前，我总觉得自己一个人，我也活得下去。朋友对我来说，可有、可无。 Not like I'm the coolest shit in the world, but I am very selective of the people whom I am to be close with. It's almost exclusive. I thought nobody would love me for who I am. I had an invisible defensive line that I thought nobody could cross.
But they did.
GOLDEN FRIENDS
这几天，一直很悲观，认为越是对别人好，人家总会把它当作是理所当然的。但他们从来都不会。 They have always been there for me. ALWAYS.
JO
LOVER OF DUCKS. Because of her, we have to converse discreetly amongst ourselves when we talk about eating duck rice! What the hell, right?!
There were things I did not like about Jo in the past. One thing is definitely her getting overly-excited, speaking/quacking at the top of her voice, bouncing her way around instead of walking. Not really advisable to have around on one of those PMS/moodswing days(which I happen to always have in the past).
Yet now, it is this sunny, noisy, duper-bubbly disposition that I love about her. She's like the sunshine in our group. With Jo around, you don't have to worry having nothing to talk about. She's forever bursting out with crazy/eye-rolling comments (calling herself GORGEOUS), always up for anything and cam-whoring (any cam! phone, digi, disposable, polaroid..). With her, you'll always have something to laugh about, from the frequent mis-pronounciation ('Um si!') to the one-off freaky things she would do (the incident that won her the name 'Ms. FBS'. I almost died laughing from this). You can definitely spot her from a sea of people by her ducky voice/poise/walking style. My parents don't call her 小鸭子 for nothing.
Apart from all these, the thing I love most about Jo is her loyalty to her friends. She has this amazing quality that I would never have. My mom once asked me,"You hate noise so much, but why are you always hanging out with Joann?" And I told her straight without thinking,"Mummy, Joann is the most loyal friend I know and have. 如果有一天，我真的很需要她在我身边，只要一通电话，我相信不管她有多累，她都会赶过来的。" I sincerely believe that she won't fail me. She will definitely be there if I needed her. No doubt about that.
She yearns to love and be loved in return. I really hope she can find someone, who simply loves her for who she is. She will, I know. And I hope this reluctant workaholic would not be so laden with work all the time. It pains me to see her working all the time. Things are not going too well at work, but I believe she will emerge as a stronger woman. If I were her, I would have crumbled and failed 9/10 tasks given to me by her bosses (2 bosses!!).
Oi Duckie! The picture, GORGEOUS enough? 加油，it will be over soon, I'll be praying for you too. Love you.
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JUN
Our dearest Ah Jun. A Japanese soul trapped in a Singaporean body. Ha.
My mom loves her. Guess that explains pretty much what kind of girl she is. THE kind that parents love. You just know your kid won't be led astray hanging out with her. My mom never questioned anything else if I said I'm going out with Jun (until Jo started working). She's like a guarantee.
The musician, THE VOICE, the Japanese, the intellectual, oh, and the CAT of our group. Recently, we found a common interest - Kabuki. Come on, how many people in the world you can find to talk about things like that?? (Obviously Teddy is a VERY BAD choice). To me, Jun is a person of great irony. 她坚强，却也很脆弱。 I always looked up to her as the ADULT of the group. She sees things from perspectives that were of my hindsight. Sensible things come out from her mouth (er....sometimes maybe not). From the way she behaves, she seems like someone who does not get unfazed easily. And yet she is easily the one who's most susceptible to emotional torture (hmm, sometimes Loo takes over that position). Likes to stress herself out. 平时冷静的她，也有钻牛角尖的时候，而且一钻可以钻个两百年。 I never really have to worry about her until the time when she returned from her 1-yr stay in Japan. She worried me sick. It feels that she has never returned at all. It was as if she was trapped in a deep tunnel and refused to get out of it. Even worse, she went deeper and deeper in. We were all VERY worried. I was angry. Angry that she was emotionally mutilating herself. Angry that she didn't want to move on. Yet I was saddened that she was in that state. I recall sitting in my crew seat, constantly thinking of ways to help her out. I recall the rest of us discussing how to cheer her up during our meetings. Somehow I felt, Ah Jun needs a pillar in every part of her life. And she's duper selective of it.
Jun, I'm glad and relieved you kinda walked out of that..yet I can feel you're not completely rid of it. I really pray for all the strength you have to carry on and not let stress get you. Please believe that life CAN BE better if you allow it to. Please comeback. Please let us see you happy again. Love you.
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LOO
Loo. 无厘头的人来疯。我们Golden friends 中的主轴。
对我来说，他是个谜。坦白说，我不完全了解他，但又在某种层次上，我懂他。在我眼里，他是幸福的人。虽然情途不是太顺利，但在他的朋友中，我看得出他们都很爱他。他什么都不用做，大家都喜欢他，enjoy他的company.他，只需要做自己，就行了。
以前，他没有自信，找不到自我。一路走来，他蜕变了。很有自己的风格，有一套自己的想法，对自己的看法有所坚持。以前，他因为没有自信，会被我骂。现在，I find him very inspiring and admirable. 他说的话，他写的东西，它拍的照片,我喜欢。在某种程度上，he became somebody I want to be.
有时候，他的笑话让人啼笑皆非。他的笑声，有一点恐怖，而且超突然地大声冒出来。他偶尔也喜欢将自己想某某帅明星i.e. 仔仔。也不懂他是高额头，还是秃头。发型总是有点怪怪的。我和Jo喜欢唱《虞美人》来烦他。他的举止动作让我想起林宥嘉。有时候他话不用说完，我就知道他在说什么。而且他是我见过最没有基本常识的记者！！！我问你，大连在哪里！
他，很多愁善感。对一名写作员，这或许是好的。但因为思想太细腻，事事爱完美，他也很容易陷入不快乐的低潮。往往，他也和Jun一样，钻牛角尖，然后一百年后再出来。 时常尝试开导他，可是我知道it doesn't work for him. 但很庆幸he has some people he looks up to, where he can occasionally find strength and inspiration from.
最近开始工作的他，压力越来越大。感觉好像越来越不快乐。I'm not sure if it is wise of me to advise him to stay on the job so as to pursue a higher dream. I hope the drive and motivation come to him soon. If not, it'll become miserable for him.
你知道我时常会担心你吗？我真的希望你能够找到真正的幸福。如果有一天你找到了THE ONE,我会喜极而泣。 And sorry, tried to find a glam picture of you, but obviously we all know it's almost impossible.
The term 'Golden Friends' is not some silly term we came up to just name ourselves, or to label for easy reference purposes e.g. Duckie's 38 Gang. Gold is usually the symbol of the best. This is exactly what 'Golden friends' mean - 'Best Friends'. Well, at least MY best friends.
And I know for sure, at the age of 90 (if all of us try to take care and not kill ourselves), we'll be sitting on wheelchairs, drink teh peng, and yak away like we always do. To quote Loo, "从来都没有怀疑过！“
my sentient self
ninnnnniee, dumb, but not tt dumb. fat + unpretty. Messed up + screwed up. Complainy + bitchy. One big lazy ass w a really big arse. :|