2.09.2006

i recognise e fact that i'm stronger than many people. And that many people perceive me as a tough girl. Not the typical kinda girl who reveals her weak side easily. Not the kinda girl that'll come crying to you on any day.

Because of my own recognition, I don't show my fears and pain (w e exception of period and external wounds and SERIOUS muscle aches). And I will even try to protect the people around me.

Because of the perception, alot of people would not think that I need to be protected and that I needed to be pampered and be treated like a little girl.

And that's what my boyfriend's for. My boyfriend would see a side of me that many people probably never get to see. Much more of it. Not that u guys are interested to see anyway.

In this case, he'll be the one that i will go to and wail and complain and really be a little girl. I need someone who's stronger than me, who can protect me, who can be my support. Someone for me to lean on.

In Ted's case, he SORTA fulfills all e qualities. Why i say SORTA? Cuz he doesn't PAMPER me. Hez e sort tt'll ask u to buzz off while hez playin games, n wouldn't know if i'm dead and my corpse has been rotting for 10hrs or so. I didn't ask for a boyfriend whose mission in life is to irritate and piss the hell outta me. Or someone who often transforms into a little boy and behaves like a retard.

Well, at least hez big and tall enough to make me a little girl literally, and tt i can lean on him w/o him stumbling arnd. Yah lah, hez stronger than me mentally and physically.

I would say if there is one thing that will make my life darn miserable, it would be relationship. Relationship is my Archilles heel.

If we didn't work out in e end, it'll bring my life down definitely. I love this guy, and I still adore him.

But no pressure Teds, cuz I know i'll eventually stand up again (dunno aft. how long..hahaah). That's part and parcel of relationships, ain't it?

Ok, so nxt time if me n Ted don't work out, u guys know what to do ah! Refer to this blog entry n get me a new one! A BETTER one! Heh!




ninnnnniee bitChed madly at 1:51 AM



my sentient self

ninnnnniee, dumb, but not tt dumb. fat + unpretty. Messed up + screwed up. Complainy + bitchy. One big lazy ass w a really big arse. :|

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